What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

What do you mean son?

Do you know what she said mum?

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She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

True - how I loved my mum!

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

Why do wives cheat with black guys?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?

What! how could you do that?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

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“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

Has a psychic ever made a crazy prediction that turned out to be true?

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

What happens when your partner doesn't see the value in you and continuously hurts you by searching for something in others knowing it hurts you?

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!